Everyone is a change maker

Dear friends and readers,
With everything happening in Tunisia and the world, I decided to take to the time to share with you the story of a remarkable young man who just made his mission to bring positive change in the lives of his community and beyond.

Funny how this article seems so relevant to me after spending a whole afternoon listening to a politician lecturing me about how young people lack effectiveness, creativity and are more likely considered as a burden instead of solution holders!

Well, Saed Karzoun, 26, a young Palestinian person who invested in his musical, photography and social media skills to spread his ideas and visions in a creative way.
Studied journalism and media in Birzeit University, he now spends his busy days making short movies and documentaries. Saed also hosts a weekly radio show on Raya FM called “Palestine Al-Shabab” or “Palestine of Youth”. He can also be found teaching young kids how to play musical instruments or volunteer somewhere at a youth led organization.
His latest project is training young people on blogging and using social media to promote positive social change.

Saed Karzoun

However, “Beautiful Palestine” is a particular initiative that I want to drag under the spot light.
“Beautiful Palestine” a project initiated by Saed through which he hopes to spread impactful messages around Palestine that would bypass the borders around on the place where he lives to echo in Europe and the USA.

Let me tell you, I have a syndrome that pushes me away from people who get too much attention or if you wish to call them super stars. I’d rather be with and speak about “invisible” people or those representing minorities and that’s what attracted me to write about Saed Karzoun.
He mentioned “I desire to be known as Saed, a simple human being who is not separated from the ordinary people, I want to be identified as the regular Saed who works and volunteers with people who act all together as a one hand”.

At Raya FM Radio- "Palestine of Youth Program"

Saed had a funny start with music, being a bad student at school, his father –a music professor and song writer- decided to teach his son how to play the Oud at the age of 10.
“The school of Music was very different to me, I was seeing and interacting with new and different people. The study of music was different itself, I had to pay extra attention to the musical notes and how to play them” says Saed Karzoun.

He also shared his attraction to this one girl at the music school and how he worked his ass off to learn how to play just to impress her. At the end, results came disappointing as the girl turned out to be older than him yet looking at the filled part of the cup Saed did learn something at the end.

Saed Karzound and Saleh Dawabsheh -best friends and extraordinary change makers

At a later stage Saed thought that music alone isn’t enough to promote his ideas and that’s how he turned to writing articles in his unique style by making a combination between the sensitive musical universe and the reality that is made up of the people miseries but also happy stories.
It’s on September 2010 when a number of his articles started being published on local Palestinian newspapers. He says he likes to reflect reality through his writings in an innovative vibrant way, cutting down with the classic and desperate type of articles.

Usually young people are not taken seriously, even newly graduate students when they show up with project ideas they get ignored and considered as nobody. There is no reason that makes corporate listen to them as they lack experience or mostly in our world, they have no connections!

Saed Karzoun says that he been always aware of that point and sends out and advice to young people telling that a person should work on building a strong profile and that can happen through volunteering in an NGO or starting own initiative…those are excellent ways to gain experience, skills, self confidence and connections . But furthermore, a person will be adding to your country and benefiting your community on the way!

Samer Jradat, one of Saed’s friends says “Saed is an ambitious person and that’s what I like about him. When I sit with him -even during early school days-, he fills me with positive energy; he always has some ideas and new stuff. I certainly like meeting him when I’m stressed or tired; he gives me power to carry on”.

Saed Says “Beautiful Palestine project is not something for the elite. When I first started it, it was a gallery of photos and articles done in Europe and Palestine. I made sure that the people working with me would be newbie’s and of mixed cultured and backgrounds and such diversity was really beneficial. I had the French Cultural Center impressed.”

Beautiful Palestine Project is both executed offline through a series of gatherings, galleries and festivals and online by a campaign promoting the image of Palestine defeating the thought that it’s a hostel place where only bombing happens.

Planting trees

To finish, I would add that one of things that touch me in all this is the very poor cultural and artistic life that we have in Tunisia. I believe we have so much to learn from Saed and Palestinian artists and change makers.

Thank you Saed.

Check out this TV package about Saed Karzoun (in Arabic):

Looking at the Tunisian revolution

I had to attend a skype conference lately with a number of foreign people to talk about the Tunisian Revolution and I was surprised with their ridiculous questions demonstrating ignorance for what’s were hot on the scene 2 months ago and still or perhaps I shouldn’t start blaming them as our Tunisian Revolution came out of the sudden with no prior preparation…In all cases, this post sums up the Tunisian Revolution from the start, perhaps  it would serve one day as a reference in a history lesson or project!

How did the revolution started? Were Tunisians waiting for a trigger?

Tunisia is a country known for its authoritarian stability, often called as a ‘police state’ for its 180 000 policemen that can also be translated to say: one policeman for every 4 citizen applying the culture of fear and torture.

In fact, the protests have been building for at least two years. The frustration is rooted in a deep history of an unbalanced economic growth.

To be fair, a huge number of people tried to stand up for the ex-regime and say “NO”, most common at this moment are: Moncef Marzouki, Ahmed Nejib Chebbi, Rached Ghanouchi, Hedi Baccouche, Elfahim Boukadous etc but their voices weren’t hard enough and soon enough also were shut down under torture in prisons or had fled the country for own safety and continue the battle overseas.

January traditionally has been Tunisia’s month for political drama — a general strike in January 1978; a Libyan-supported insurrection in January 1980; bread riots in January 1984. This year, however, January will is hard-pressed to top the previous December. With that being said, yes, the incident of Mohamed Bouazizi was the needed trigger to make the frustration bomb explode in the face of the ex-president.

What are the main demands of people now?

As we quickly approach the end of the 6 months period to organize a first time true democratic elections, some issues are still standing in the way.

Our major demands are:

A complete cut with the past and the start of a new era and that can’t be done with the Constitutional Democratic Rally (RCD) still in place.

Persecution and judgment of every person including the ex-president and his family that stole tortured and killed people in the last 23 years.

We’re also demanding to redistribute the funds in way to serve the disadvantaged regions.

We’re demanding the establishment of a democratic state, where all freedoms are granted and protected by the law.

Are people protesting only against the system?

No, other than demanding quick fixation of the regime and the law in order to lay a foundation for a democratic base for the country; Tunisian citizens are still demanding for justice, providing equal opportunities for all cities, supporting the economy and the job creation process in the disadvantaged cities.

Justice, freedoms and rights, essentially right of expression and association are fiercely demanded and certainly the protection of the revolution and its outcomes.

Outcomes of the Tunisian revolution are not a cake for those in power to share but its for all the 10.000 Tunisian citizens.

What is the role of women, youth, proletarians etc. in this uprising?

Street protests and sit-ins were spontaneously led by young people, girls and boys; both hit the roads and sat-in next to the government for almost a week.

Tunisia had set the bar for Arab women’s rights in the 21st century, legalizing abortion and actively combating domestic violence.

The place of the woman in Tunisia makes it very smooth for her to decide and engage freely in any activity.

Woman had a strong presence shouting with men and working behind the scenes, preparing food and utilities for the protestors.

Probably the Jasmine that was associated with this revolution was meant to symbolize the youth and it’s white and clear color meant to represent the purity of these young people for non belonging to any political or religious parties what so ever.

Being led by young people, tools such facebook, twitter and YouTube that represents a big deal of the daily life of a young Tunisian person to interact with his/her friends were meaningfully used to keep everyone up to date, organize marches and actions and also reveal many truths that local classic media works  hard to hide or manipulate.

Any political parties, societies, communities, non-governmental associations  effective in these uprisings?

No political parties, societies, communities nor non-governmental associations were directly involved in the Tunisian Revolution. It was totally spontaneous and led by youth themselves that never belonged to any party.

At some point, the General Union of Tunisian Workers (GUTW) adopted the organization of certain revolutions in almost all the Tunisian cities helping strengthen the demands against unemployment and rises of prices.

Lawyers and judges had also joined the lines of the protestors and suffered from a lot of suppression as well.

What role played by the police and the army?

The police and all the security system other than the army played huge role in suppressing the unarmed civilians, using live ammunition, targeting chest and head when they shoot, using tear gas bombs and violence; snipers also colonized a number of roofs.

Police had skipped a number of protocols and had directly used live ammunition to disperse the protesters resulting in 219 dead and 511 wounded.

Police ought to gradually switch among strategies to disperse the people: using voice and orders, using hot water, use of tear gas bombs, using rubber bullets and in severe ultimate cases use live ammunitions.

After the escape of the ex-president Ben Ali,  police had joined forces with protestors and demanded for their right for a syndicate and raise their salaries, expressing solidarity with the Tunisian people and asking for forgiveness claiming that they were ordered to use that level of violence.

Still the relationship between the Tunisian people and the police in a vibrant situation with violence aspects still practiced in some points resulting on February 6^th in the death of at least 4 persons and more than 20 wounded according to local media.

The Army, occupies the hero stage for none getting involved in suppression and violence scenes and standing by the people’s side defending and providing protection against the Militias and arresting a number of them.

Ben Ali escaped the country; is it enough for Tunisians?

Getting rid of Ben Ali isn’t enough, because it’s simply looks like removing the head of the pyramid but leaving its huge body wide spread in all Tunisia.

Ben Ali is a known icon for corruption, murders and torture and it was relatively easy to face him and his family, but what’s harder is getting rid of what he left, a huge octopus spreading it’s legs in every inch of the country, I mean the Constitutional Democratic Rally (RCD).

We have been having quite a hard time supervising the new transitional government that is supposed to fix the law, setting a democratic foundation and preparing for the next first democratic elections.

Its not enough, as ministers and governors that we keep switching by protesting are originally belonging to the RCD; it’s like not being able to trust change from people that used to violate our right.

On February 6^th, finally the new Minister of Interior Farhat Rajhi decided to suspend the Constitutional Democratic Rally party and all its meetings or gatherings of its members, which is considered a very good news for a step to get rid of the RCD octopus involved in all the corruption cases.

The importance of February 6^th can be compared to the importance of January 14^th, the day Tunisians kicked their dictator out of the country.

The next elections?

A special committee is said to be working on fixing the law that was made to fit the ex-president supporting its long term rule and probably allowing passing the stick the ex-first lady or Kamel Morjane (Ex-minister of Foreign Affairs) according to wiki leaks documents.

The EU and America seem to be keeping a close eye on the current process of preparations and expressing their support for the next elections by sending over a committee to observe and implement democratic, fraud free elections.

Although can’t feel totally confident that all going to be fine with the weak knowledge and disinterest of people to learn about politics and search the backgrounds of nominees; add to that the potential clashes that might take place among the old opposite rallies and the new formed rallies; this is worrying me in a way that I fear people will go back to use illegal procedures to take advantage of the impact of the Tunisian Revolution.

The new temporary Prime Ministe Beji Kaid Sibsi had set Jully 24^th as a date to elect a Constitutional Assembly that would represent the general Tunisians and their occupations to work on fixing the law and preparing for the next parliamentary and presidential elections.

When the elections time comes what would be the demands of the Tunisians from the politicians?

In my opinion, we won’t ask more than a guarantee to preserve what we accomplished and not go back in time.

Politicians have to demonstrate solid plans of transition toward true democracy, empowerment and development of disadvantaged areas, guarantee to support pluralism, preserve and human rights, acknowledge media as a forth free power and defending the rights of minorities with no exclusion.

What role of Social Media in the Tunisian Revolution?

Tunisia was a leading country in web censorship, suppressing cultural life and using local traditional media as a pro-Ben Ali.

With that being said, Tunisians switched to social media tools mainly twitter and facebook as a window to express themselves; though even those tools never escaped the scissors of the censor!

Social media enabled the revolting citizens of Tunisia to bypass the censored state media and talk with each other.

Tunisia wasn’t a Twitter or Facebook or Wiki leaks revolution. It was Tunisians on the ground triggered and drove by long regional disparities, corruption, and unemployment; yet, it’s worth saying that in the Tunisian context the online and offline worlds appear to have interacted in unprecedented ways demonstrating the role of the Internet as a platform for collective action.

Perhaps, what distinguishes the online side of the Tunisian revolution from the Iranian one is that there was already a very strong online anti-censorship movement prior to this happening, Internet elite who were already connected to one another and able to leverage those ties to get information out.

We had people who were genuinely linking up with each other through social networks to figure out what’s going on.

One thing that I think is really fascinating is Aljazeera’s Web-inspired business strategy and is that the information that was being put on Twitter and facebook was often used by Al-Jazeera in their reporting.

The social media tools played different roles in the Tunisian revolution as a grassroots mobilization:  some of the organization of protests happened on facebook, which effectively played the role of community organizing platform.

Twitter and facebook served to organize the rise of civil society and active citizenship. Citizens used social media to identify the positions of snipers, police and looters, and to alert one another to other violence, going out to clean streets, protect shops or organize bread lines.

Social media tools played a massive counter rumor or propaganda tool that were distributed by either the local regular media or social networking sites them-selves.  Such when there were concerns about water being poisoned, people sharing information on Facebook helped to counter that falsehood. When reports came in that there was massive shooting in a neighborhood, a few minutes later, a few dozen people said that was untrue and also played a role revealing the back ground of some people mainly ministers and governors helping the crowd decide on changing them.

Eventually, facebook and twitter users helped people discuss and analyze government statements. When government went on TV, people went on online to analyze what president aid and to form a consensus on whether the positions met their requirements. Ultimately, they did not.

What is the role of “left” political party, society etc. (e.g. Tunisian communist party)?

Since their leaders were already in exile, they kept a very close eye on the news and kept pushing for the revolution to continue till it realizes all its objectives. They recorded videos with their observances and recommendations and posted them to social sharing sites.

Now, since they are no longer in danger, they appear frequently on local media and strengthen the people demands, mainly:

Bringing down Ghannouchi (PM) current government or any government that includes symbols of the former regime.

Dissolving the RCD, the confiscation of its headquarters and property and Bank accounts as they belong to the people, and dismissing its members.

Formation of temporary force that enjoys the confidence of the people and the progressive forces of the civil society political, associations, unions and youth organizations.

The dissolving of the House of Representatives and the advisers council and all current false bodies, and the Higher Council of the Judiciary, and the dismantling of the political structure of the former regime, and to prepare for elections of a constituent assembly within a period that does not exceed one year, for the formulation of a new democratic constitution and a new legal system that will govern public life ensuring political and economic and cultural rights of people.

Dissolution of the political security and enact new security policy based at respect for human rights and the law.

Trial of all those who has been proven to loot the people’s money and/or commit crimes such as repression, imprisonment, torture and killings, whether by decision making, ordering or/and execution. Trial also of all of those proven to have taken bribes and misconduct of public property.

Confiscating the property of the former ruling family and those close to them and their associates and all officials who took advantage of their position to gain wealth at the expense of the people.

Providing jobs to the unemployed and taking urgent measures for their benefit such as issuing unemployment benefit system and social and medical security and improving the purchasing power of the daily-wage workers.

Building a national economy which services the people by putting the vital and strategic sectors under state control and nationalising the companies that were privatised and drafting an economic and social policy that breaks-up with liberal capitalist approach.

Guaranteeing public and individual liberties and primarily the freedom of demonstration and organisation, the freedom of expression and the press and the freedom of belief and the release of all those under arrest and declaring a general amnesty.

The Front salutes the support of the masses and the progressive forces in the Arab world and the world for the revolution in Tunisia and calls upon them to continue their support with whatever means possible.

Opposing normalization with the Zionist state and criminalizing it and supporting all the national liberation movements in the Arab world and worldwide.

The Front calls upon the masses and the progressive and democratic forces to continue their mobilization and their struggle using all legitimate forms especially street protest until their objectives are achieved.

The Front salutes all the committees, the organisations and the forms of self-organisation of the masses and calls for the broadening of their actions in public life and the running of all aspects of the daily life.

Glory to all the martyrs of the uprising and victory the masses in revolt.

What are the expectations for Tunisia?

From what I see, people are very open and embracing to democracy but huge number of them doesn’t know what does democracy means and moving ahead to do things in the name of personal liberty.

But, I guess this is normal at this stage, with no fix law nor representative people and the absence of security.

Many young people organized creative gatherings celebrating their accomplishments and solidarity actions are taking place among the different cities of Tunisia.

All the above, makes me feel optimistic about a better future, Tunisia continues to break records as a leading country to adopt change, though this time it’s working to be the first real democratic Arab state.

The “domino effect”?

I notice that many tend to deny the similarities among the Arab states and also claim that the Tunisian catalogue is very and only specific to Tunisia and can never be applied to the other MENA countries that’s what Ahmad Shafik, Egypt’s Prime Minister revealed quite directly but other Arab leaders have been acting on that in a number of different ways.

In fact, there are a number of common points among the Arab states folding on social, economical and political plans, won’t mention them all but would like to emphasize on the first appealing common point which is the one man regime, where all the world turns around one person- the dictator!

We can clearly see the domino effect thanks to these similarities in sufferings of the people and also the type of rule.

The domino effect also resolves on the number of uprising we witness mainly in Egypt now as camera lenses are watching it closely, but also the effect of the Tunisian revolution had echoed in all of Yemen, Jordan, Morocco, Algeria and now Libya. Syria and Saudi Arabia seems to have the least level of the echo but no one can predict what could happen in the near future.

Kacem Jlidi.

The final count down!!

Get in the mood right away!!

Be part of this magical moment – the satellite link will be streamed LIVE (November 27^th)  here OR on the dance4life website: www.dance4life.com at 6-6.35 PM GMT / 7-7.35 PM CET (GMT+1).

P.S. Please consider leaving a comment if you like the post or help spread the word. Thanks.

Young people are the most affected by the HIV pandemic; enough said that half of the new HIV infections every day are among young people under 25 years old.

Although stigma and discrimination are quite first noticed reactions you see when you encounter someone living with the virus; yet we cannot exclude them from our lives.

dance4life is a new creative approach that encourages social inclusion of the key population affected the most by this pandemic.

dance4life is an international initiative set up to involve and empower young people all around the world, to push back the spread of HIV and AIDS. Young people are the future and they have the power to halt the spread of HIV and AIDS. By uniting all over the world and demanding change, they can make a difference!

Experiencing the unique dance4life’s 4 program steps: Inspire Educate, Activate and Celebrate; young people (13 – 19 year old) are taught important life skills they need to protect themselves and are enabled to go out there and actually do something about it, to become actively involved – and become agents4change.

dance4life’s mission is to create a movement of one million agents of change by 2014.

Almost 24 hours left before the kick off the dance4life international event 2010 which takes place every 2 years on the Saturday preceding the World Aids Day.

The adrenalin is definitely starting to kick in: it’s no mean feat connecting over 20 countries with each other live via satellite, not to mention the hard working local dance4life organizations that are also organizing fantastic events in each country. Terms such as SNG vans, satellite coordinates, and world feeds…once a foreign language, but now rolling with ease off the tongue of some of the dance4life teams!

It’s tomorrow, when tens of thousands of young people worldwide will unite via satellite to celebrate their achievements in pushing back the spread of HIV and AIDS.  From the USA to Vietnam, Zimbabwe to Germany, young people will have the experience of a lifetime on Saturday.

And boy, do these young people deserve it. All around the world, they’ve been taking action to push back HIV and AIDS. Whether it is fundraising, lobbying, volunteering or simply talking to a friend about using a condom, every single one of these agents4change present on Saturday has made a contribution to halting HIV. What a fantastic gathering of creativity and determination.

You too can be part of this magical moment – the satellite link will be streamed LIVE (November 27^th)  here OR on the dance4life website: www.dance4life.com at 6-6.35 PM GMT / 7-7.35 PM CET (GMT+1).  And, until then, take a look at what Helena, Sharon, Felix and Stephen have to say about what’s coming up… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgOUYNG52v0

Enjoy !!

 

التفاؤل: تذكرة استمرارية الحياة

لم يستطع قلمي مقاومة ملئ هذه الصفحات بحبره الأزرق لكن عقلي استطاع مقاومة عدم الخوض في هذه الأسطر للإصلاح ما قد يشوبها من أخطاء فها أنا أهديكم هذه الأسطر كم خلقت أول مرة.

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التفاؤل: تذكرة استمرارية الحياة

لفت انتباهي ضوء خافت لطيف يتسلل مخترقا نافذتي مضيئا جزءا من أرضية هذه الغرفة المظلمة بهذا الحي المظلم. انعكس ضوء القمر على زجاج إطار صورة علقت لإحياء ذكرى صاحبها.

تبعت مصدر الضوء و تطلعت إليه كتطلع طفل إلى غرض في فترينة لا يقدر على شراءه, فسرعان ما تسارعت إلى ذهني صورة سماء ذلك اليوم الشتائي الملبدة بسحب رمادية, حالت دون نور الشمس لإشراق المكان- تلبدت السحب و امتزجت كأنها قطعة واحدة تحجب الشمس عن الأرض و كأن السماء علمت مسبقا بتقلبات بعض قلوب أهل الأرض.

لم تطرد نسمات ذلك الشتاء الباردة و لا برك الماء الصغيرة المتكونة نتيجة أمطار الليلة الفارطة و لا تلبد تلك السحب بسمتي. لم تحل كل أجواء شتائي الحبيب من شعوري بالتفاؤل و بدأ يومي بنشاط عسى أن يدب بعض الأمل في بعض تلك القلوب التي ألقاها.

كان شعوري بالسعادة و الرضى عن ذاتي غير ملائم يومها لكن لم يكن بوسعي تجاهله, مررت على غرف المرضى أحييهم تحية الصباح و أسألهم “شنوه تحسوا في أرواحكم اليوما؟ أبركشي شويا؟ أيا نقصتشي الوجيعة؟” و أساعد بعضهم على النهوض متوكلين على الله.

تدحرجت قدماي فجأة في حالة استعجاليه كنت قد دعيت إليها, إنهم يريدونني أن أجهز و أسارع بتجهيز غرفة العمليات لأن الطبيب الروسي سيشرع في عملية و لم يصل كل فريق الممرضين بعد إلى العمل أو وصلوا لكنهم مازالوا بالكافيتيريا يتناولون فطور الصباح أو يدخنون سيجارة الصباح لكن لا يهم.

المريض كان شابا يافعا فقد السيطرة ليلة أمس على الشاحنة التي كان يقودها نتيجة تغاضي مديره عن عطل ميكانيكي كان قد أصابها, لكن هذا لا يهم أيضا.

اعتقد الفريق الصحي الليلي الذي استقبله أنهم سيطروا على الوضع, لكن مع إشراق الشمس وراء تلك السحب ساء وضعه و ارتفع ضغط دمه بشكل مقلق و ملحوظ نتيجة تورم دماغي حسب التشخيص الأولي.

أعلنت حالة الطوارئ في قسم الجراحة و ساعدت في تجهيز و تعقيم الطبيب الروسي و مساعده.

خبير البنج أعطى الإشارة بإمكانية شق الجسم و الشروع في العملية.

اضطررت إلى مغادرة القاعة لأتصل بطبيب الأشعة فالتقت عيناي بعينيها التي أذهبت دموعهما تناسق الكحل الذي يعلو مقلتيها و رسمت هالتين سوداوين حولهما.

جلست على مقاعد الانتظار تراقب باب غرفة العمليات تؤرقها تهيؤاتها و ولولاتها. لم أخاطبها حينها لكن استوقفتني عيناها مرة أخرى لدى عودتي. وقفت و اتجهت نحوي تسألني عن حالته, فرددت سؤالها بسؤال عن مدى قرابتها بالمريض, فأجابتني بحياء بأنها خطيبته و أنها قد أمضت الليل إلى جانبه يتحدثان و كان بخير و يبتسم حتى تركته في الصباح لتجلب له قهوة من كافيتيريا المستشفى.

رددت بإجحاف بأن العملية قد بدأت منذ دقائق و لا معرفة لي بحالته, طمأنتها بأن كل شيء سيكون على ما يرام, كيف لا وهو بين يدي الطبيب الروسي…

أسرعت بالدخول ثانية إلى غرفة العمليات دون أن أعطيها الفرصة لترد على كلماتي الروتينية, لم أدري لماذا تجنبت إجابتها كما ينبغي و هربت. انضممت إلى الفريق الجراحي و دماغي لا يكف عن التفكير بما فعلت و بحالة هذا المسكين الممدد بين أيدينا ضحية إهمال مديره البخيل. رحت أفكر بمصير هذا الرجل إن كان سينجو ليضم السهرانة إلى جانبه.

قارب تأثير البنج على النفاذ و أكياس الدم التي ملأت عروق هذا البائس تقطر آخر القطرات و أخيرا ها أنا أقص خيط الغرز التي أغلقت جرح هذا البائس.

خرجت أطلع المنتظرة خارجا عن آخر التطورات, لمعت عيناها عندما رأت ذلك الباب يندفع لكنها أسرعت الخطى هذه المرة في اتجاهي, لم أعلم إن كان إسراعها للهفتها لسماع خبر عن الراقد في الداخل أم لتمنعني من الهرب ثانية.

سارعت في اتجاهي و على شفاهها مئات الأسئلة لكنني سارعت بالنطق أولا أزف إليها الخبر الرمادي بأننا فعلنا كل ما بوسعنا لكن يوجد احتمال أن يعيش مشلولا.. الأمر بيد الله الآن ليحدد مصيره…

شعرت هي رغم كل شيء برغبة في الكلام, فسمحت لها عسى أن تغفر جفائي الأول. في حين شعرت  أنا بألم و ندم بالغين عما بدر مني, فكم ظننت قبلا بأنني العطوف الذي يسيل الحنان من بين كتفي لينسكب في قلوب منشقة إلى أن يفيض عن الجانبين سعادة و رضى.

شعرت بندم يغرز خنجره بوحشية في صدري كما غرزت تلك الشفرة في جلد ذلك الفتى تفتحه لتكشف أسرارا دموية. فكم اعتقدت قبل ذلك اليوم أنني المتفهم العاقل الذي يتقن لعبة الصمت و الاستماع حتى لحثيث أوراق الشجر في قيلولة صيف حار لا تشوبه نسمة.

كيف فاتني سبر معنى تلك النظرات التي لم يزدها تشوه الكحل إلا جمالا و أنا الذي طالما ظننت أنني الفهمان القادر على تحليل النظرات و الابتسامات و التعليقات حتى المبهم منها.

لست أفهم ما أصابني في تلك اللحظة لكنني استعددت للتكفير عن ذلك الجفاء بتركها تتكلم دون روابط.

باعدت بين شفتيها الزهريتين و سألتني ماذا أعني بشلل…

لم يكن اطلاع المرضى أو أهاليهم عن الأخبار المأساوية هوايتي أو شغلي لكن فات الأوان للتنصل من اللأجابة. فالتورم الدموي بدماغه ينتج عنه عادة منع الأكسيجين من الوصول إلى الخلايا العصبية مما يصيب مناطق من الدماغ بالتلف.

البائسة انخفض كتفاها كأن طنا وضع عليهما وانخفضت جفونها ساجدة إلى الأرض كأنها تستوعب كلماتي العلمية.

لم أشأ أن ابسط الكلام أكثر لعل كلماتي المعقدة تنجح في إخفاء جزءا من مرارة الفاجعة. هي لم تعد تقوى على الوقوف, تراجعت إلى الوراء و جلست تهمس بكلام و كأنها ترثيه…

كان رجلا يتمتع بقساوة الرجال و فشلهم في الخضوع إلى جوارحهم, فقد كان لا يذل قسوته و ترفعه كي لا يفضح ضعف قلبه.

نظراته, كلماته و مبادراته تفضحه أحيانا كاشفة الحقيقة عن كائن شاعري و متفهم. كان يتمتع بحيوية الشباب و حكمة الشيوخ.

لو اقدر أن اجعل الحروف تنطق لاستنتجتم مدي تيتمها به و فظاعة جريمتي.

واصلت حديثها تتخلله عبرة من حين لأخر لكنه كان مسترسلا كأنها تقرأ من صحيفة. خانني ثبوتي حينها و لم أفقه ما علي فعله فكم خالجني قبل الآن أنني أقوى من كل ما يمكن أن يحدث, فلطالما وجدت طريقا لنسيان المر و الصعب. كنت دائما من يضيء أركان الظلام و يبدد سحب الظلم والمعاناة لكن هذا قدره و هذا قدرها أن تنحبه…كانت تمنع دموعها من التسرب حياءا من تسكبها أمامي.

اخترقت صمتي و أخيرا عاد عقلي إلى العمل و التساؤل إذا كان بإمكاني ضم يدها و مواساتها لكنني استسلمت و خضعت لضعفي و لم افعل شيئا.

سادت لحظات صمت طويلة قبل أن ابتسم لها و أخبرها بان إمكانية و درجة شلله مجرد فرضية و سيكون بالعناية المركزة و إن شاء الله لاباس و ما فما كان الخير…

أخبرتها أنني سأسمح لها بالدخول و إمضاء بعض الدقائق معه لكن علي إنهاء بعض المعاملات الورقية.

لم يكن هناك أي معاملات ورقية, لكني لفظت تلك الجملة و انسحبت فورا من أمامها ألعن القدر على عدله و حكمته.

يبدو أني فقدت كل شيء يومها: قوتي, رهافة حسي, تفهمي, حكمتي, إنصاتي حتى قدرتي على الكلام لكنني سعدت بأنني قدرت على الابتسام ثانية, فعلى ما يبدو أنني مازلت أحتفظ بايجابيتي اللامتناهية و قدرتي على التفاؤل المطلق.

لم أجد قط جوابا عن سؤالي إن كان ذلك قسوة غير اعتيادية مني عدم ذرف دمعة على نقاء ذلك الحب أم كان ذلك موقفا استثنائيا قدريا دقيقا اغتنم يومي الرمادي البهيج مباشرا في طعنه نفسيتي بحقيقة تلثها أوهام ضنوني بإمكانياتي.

بقلم قاسم الجليدي, القيروان, تونس, 28 أوت 2010.